ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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