maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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