This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sorry about my life...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
