Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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