I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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