It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
