D3 body, D1 cock
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
