shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
