It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
