I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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