I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
