I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
