loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
