she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
