we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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