We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
