You just made me feel so damn special
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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