part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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