You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
