as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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