wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
