So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
