Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
