you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
