You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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