I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
