I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
