About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
