I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
