I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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