So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
