Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
