Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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