If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
