I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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