I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We're using joints as your birthday candles
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
