Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
