Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Found the puke drawer
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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