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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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