the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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