so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize