its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
