You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
