Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize