Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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