Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
