HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
