I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
