She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
