So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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