I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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