Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
