You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
