his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize