Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
