we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
