I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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