sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
