come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We don't watch enough power rangers
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
