My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
