Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
