those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
