I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
